Take a look at the notes over parenting styles: authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and uninvolved. Think about a friend, relative, or yourself. Give that person a fictional name, and then discuss the type of parenting style(s) his or her parents use. Give some examples to support your opinion.
This blog will be due on Sunday, February 3rd.
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I use to have a friend named Erin when I lived in Arizona who had completely uninvolved parents. Both of them were high payed lawyers who traveled a lot and worked late all the time. They had a live in nanny who did everything a parent should do besides discipline. She cooked, cleaned, etc. but never gave them chores or orders. Once we got into high school Erin became really wild and honestly couldn't control herself. She did whatever she wanted, literally, and that really destroyed her life.
I have this friend, Nathan, who's parents are completely authoritarian. They have all their rules set out in strict order and the punishment for breaking these rules is being grounded for 1 day, being the shortest, up to 6 months, being the longest he has every experienced. When grounded, he gets his cellphone and any other electronics taken up, is limited to driving to school, work, and church, and is given double chores. He has curfews, chores,grade expectations, and all different kinds of restrictions put on his life that absolutely cannot be broken without punishment. For example, the other night Nathan was helping his girlfriend with a project in which she had to make a movie and ended up breaking his 10 o'clock weekday curfew by 15 minutes. His dad, the most prominent inforcer of rules, flipped out and grounded him for a week. Last year, when Nathan ended the school year with a 68 in english, his dad grounded him for the whole summer. I wasn't even able to hang out with hime once the whole time. Nathan himself is a wreck because of his parents. He doesn't care about school, he never tries in anything he does claiming that "theres no point," and he doesn't want to do anything with his life. I, personally, think that this parenting style has the most negative effect on kids in that it doesn't allow for any sense of freedom, and that it, in Nathan's case, offers no rewards for good behavior.
so "my friend", Laura, has lived with just her mom and older sister ever since she could remember. Her sister is really independent, i guess "wild" you could say. Laura's mom was very authoritarian because she felt like she had to be the father figure as well as the mother. Well I think that led to her sister's rebellious nature. But now, since her mom is experienced, she is much more authoritative giving Laura the freedom to make her own choices but also laying down the law when Laura gets out of line. This has led Laura to much more aware of how to control herself and will benefit her when she lives on her own.
This friend of mine, Molly, has pretty authoritative parents. Her parents have always been very involved in her life, but not in a way that constitutes the word over-bearing; they have simply been there for her as a family should be. Now especially, I can see that her parents provide a perfect example of authoritative parents. I would attribute this parenting style to how she's grown up. She's grown up into a person that usually makes good decisions and she really has a good head on her shoulders. Ultimately, I would say that because she isn't harnessing any hostility for her parents she has grown up and is on the path to becoming the best person she can.
well i know this one guy who lives in frisco and he has VERY authoritarian parents. like one time i went to his house just to hang out and suddenly his dad comes in and tells us that we have to do yard work. my friend says that he doesn't really want to since i'm over and all and so his dad got really mad and said either i could leave or work as well. well i didnt really want to ditch my friend so i did and i got paid as well but we never got to hang out.
I know this one friend, "Alyx", whose family is kind of odd in that it doesn't fit one single category. In her "mom-daughter" relationship, it's moderately authoritarian, where the mom has semi-strong control over her life, such as who her friends are and where they hang out, and how her academic career goes. She signs her up for all of the special-ed classes and will underestimate her intelligence all the time, even right to her face. Alyx's mom doesn't just control her, but her dad as well. (The mom pretty much wears the pants in the family.) She will freak out if he ASKS HER PERMISSION to go out hunting, but gives no second thought about going antique-ing with my mom and blowing loads of cash. (She once even brought home a dog without prior discussion with her husband.) In my opinion, this "husband control" serves as the example for Alyx to follow, leading to the permissive "father-daughter" relationship, where the dad takes crap from the daughter as well as the mother. Yet, get her alone, and Alyx seems perfectly normal. In fact, she's quite shy in mixed company.
I had a friend that had the classic permissive parents. She did whatever she wanted, got whatever she wanted and spoke to her parents with complete disrespect. She would even say things like "I own my parents." She would yell at her parents for being too helpful, and then turn around and yell at them for not helping. She had to have the best clothes, the newest phone, and the most expensive car. Her parents never set a curfew for her and when they would call to find out where she was, she would tell them it was none of there business. I'm sure she is going to grow up and be completely wild (as if she isn't already). I think maybe the parents thought the were showing their love for her in giving her everything she wanted, but in the long run its ruining her life.
In Germany I have a friend named Nina, her parents are really authoritarian. She can never go out late and she is also not allowed to go to parties because she is supposed to study. Her parents even control who she called on the cellphone and if they don't know the number they will ask her who that person is. Whenever she gets bad grades (which is like b-) she gets grounded and has to study all day until her grades improve. She also has to call her stepfather "dad" even if she doesn't want to. She's an athlete and whenever her parents are not satisfied with her she has to work even harder. I think that this kind of parenting style is not good, since she does everything behind her parents back (and she has gotten really wild and did things my friends and I would never ever even dare to do) and whenever they ask her something she just lies to them because she knows that the things will make her parents mad.
When I was in middle school I had a friend whose parents were authoritarian towards her, but completely permissive to her older sister. Her parents didn't care when her sister came home at three in the morning, but yelled at us for staying up too late when I spent the night at her house. They also made my friend do lots of chores, while her sister didn't do anything she didn't want to.
When I lived in Italy, I had a friend, Alex, who lived in an authoritarian family. He had to follow every rule and even just a slip up like, having shoes on in the living room or going to bed 5 minutes later than he is supposed to, he would be grounded for a week. I normally didn't hang out at his house because I got snapped at by his mother and she pretty much told me to get out and stay out. ugh..i REEEAALLLLY and STRONGLY disliked her. Pretty soon, he became so attatched to his family rules that he didn't talk to anyone. I haven't seen him in nearly ten years, but i am pretty sure his life is dull and boring because he is never given any freedom as a kid. I only hope he doesn't follow his parent's way of raising children if he plans to have them.
I have a friend named Jane Doe, her parents are for the most part not home so I would say it is for the most part uninvolved, but when they are home or are on the phone with her they are authoritative and reason and are laid back but still have rules and guidelines that she follows.
When I lived in Frisco,in middle school, I had this friend Danielle and she lived with her mom and grandparents. Her grandparents were the "authority" figures, but they were totally permissive and her mom was somewhat univolved(depression. I was over at her house and her grandmother told her something and she cursed at her and the grandmother did nothing. I was shocked to hear that kind of language spoken to an adult because if I ever said that to my parents i would be black and blue. She did whatever she wanted and there were no consequences. her mother was never really invovled but i remember that i spent the night and we snuck her boyfriend up and they were in her room and i was keepin an eye for her mom or grandma and her mom can and knocked on her door and asked what the noise was and she blamed it on me and i was right next to her mom and the mom did nothing even though she knew that she was lying. I don't think those are good parenting styles because she won't know how to act and respect her elders and she will throw temper tantrums when she doesn't get her way
Some friends of mine, Guy, Girl, and Girl2 have a mix of permissive and uninvolved parents. The "father figure" is their stepdad, who is included in this. There really isn't a lot of freinforcement or encouragement, but rather, materialistic values shown and demonstrated. Guy and Girl have made some serious mistakes and bad decisions, but instead of handling and disciplining them, their parents just overlook the problem and try not to deal with it. Or they acknowledge that their is a problem, but don't attempt to solve it or show good examples of responsible adults. Instead, Guy, Girl and Girl2 learn the "hard way" and are still prone to make irresponsible and immature decisions because of the lack of authority, discipline, attention and care.
Anne has divorced parents. One is permissive, and the other is uninvolved. She lives with her mom, but she is never home. She is always working and she travels a lot on business. Anne spends most of her time at her dads. Her dad is usually there; Even though her dad is there most of the time with her, he lets her do whatever she wants. She's allowed to drink in the house, she can leave the house whenever she wants and comes back whenever she wants. He sometimes tells her to be back by a certain time, but she never obeys it. When she gets back her dad just lets her slide. Because of her parents' parenting style, she has no idea how to control her life.
In my case I have two types of parents. My mom is authoritarian and my dad is authorative. My mom is just too strict and questions every one of my movements and expects us to do everything that just the way she wants it to be done and argues that, it is for our good. In the other hand my dad is an authorative parent, he has expectations for us and rules to follow but he is always open to hear our opinion and considered it. What surprises me the most is the differences between them and how they never argue somehow they always come to an agreement. This is the type of parents I have and even though they way of dealing with me, my sisters, and brother, they are still great parents and I admire them for the great job they have done.
I knew a kid named Brennen who's parents were complete opposites. His dad had a high anxiety and enforced a lot of dicipline on him. Then his mom still having some dicipline just not very vocal or authoritive. Well he moved in with his mom and she gave me perhaps to much freedom. Now he parties and drinks all the time. His dad tried to dicipline him but he would just go back to his moms. I believe his dad was an influence on him drinking just because he wanted to rebel against what his dad was saying.
My friend Rachel has a little brother named Ryan and one time i babysat him. I quickly found out that their parents are very permissive when it comes to parenting especially Ryan. Anything they asked him to stop doing he would tell them no and when they tried to punish him the argued back and forth and finally gave up and let him keep doing it and went it did something else.
I have a friend named Jane. She has authoritive parents. Her parents are close to her, but not in the creepy way. They keep their space, but do not let Jane have a free rein. They ground her when needed, but they do give her the chance to explain herself, and they do give her the benefit of the doubt when problems arise. Because her parents are involved with her life she has grown up to be a very responsible and good person. She has been given teh chance to solve her own problems in life, whcih will hep her in teh furture. I believe this is teh ebst kind of parenting, and teh childern can grow and become very independent with this parenting style.
I babysit a 3 and 6 year old whose parents are very uninvolved. They work long hours and put their jobs over their family. Besides the fact that they have an Aupair i always get calls at either early or late hours asking if i can come babysit right now for only 20 minutes or an hour but they are usually alot longer than that. They could easily take their children with them but they insist on dumping them with other people. the children will suffer from not bonding with theire parents and instead bonding with all the babysitters.
My friend whos name is jeffery has parents that are never around. When they are they really don't care what he is doing even if it means drugs and/or anything illegal. His parents are very uninvolved and this allows jeffery to go wild and get into lots of trouble.
I have a friend named "Catherine" who has authoritative parents. Anytime she wants to go somewhere her parents give her tons of chores she has to do before she can leave the house. They have strict rules and hardly negotiate on anything. Its gotten to the point where she is unhappy almost all the time because she is constantly around stress.
I have this friend named Heather and her parents are uninvolved parents. Her parents have always worked a lot so they are hardly home. They let her do what ever she wants pretty much. She had to take care of her self ever since she could remember her parents have trust in her to do the right thing. So I think that’s why they haven’t been to concerned about her. But now that she has turned 18 years old her parents are trying to control her. And she doesn’t like that so she is planning to move out over the summer.
i have a friend named dimitri who moved away to west virginia, but before he moved i noticed that his parents were completly uninvolved. he basically lived at my house and considered my parents his own. we played sports together and went to the same functions, yet his parents were never there to support him. They were constantly involved in their careers and spend no time with him at all. the sad thing is that he was more sad to move because he felt that his only real parents werent going along with him.
I have a friend named Fred whose parents are completely authoritarian. They constantly have to make sure of what he is doing almost every 5 minutes, calling him and checking in. And when he wants to do something, he asks his parents and everytime they have to know every little detail even if its just to go to walmart or something.They give him very little independence; he doesn't get to endure the normal experiences of high school. His parents won't let him because they don't trust him and they really have no reason not to He is seriously such a good person and has many great morals. He has never done anything to cause distrust but nevertheless they restrict him from almost everything. This complete control the parents have over his life, has utterly made him worry about everything and soon enough i believe he will get fed up with it and completely rebel against his parents wants and may end up making wrong choices in his life.
My friend, "michelle", has parents who are authoritarian. She always has tons of chores and is always grounded. It doesn't matter if what she did wasn't even that bad. Her other sister can get away with anything though. She sneaks out, stays out late, and lies and never gets in trouble.
My cousins I would say have a uninvolved parents. Well they live with their dad so I can only talk about him. Every time I go over to visit them he's hardly there and my cousins do whatever they want. My cousins "smoke" alot and my uncle knows all about it and still doesn't do nothing about it or even tells them anything.
My friend, "Cinnamon", has parents who are authoritarian. Her parents always give her specific jobs and duties which must be completed throughout the day with no excuses. They never give a reason why Cinnamon should be responsible for these jobs. Also, Cinnamon is not allowed to go eat with friends when she wants because she must eat almost every meal at home with her family because her mom cooks. Cinnamon's parents also expect her to excel in everything she does.
There once was this kid named Petey growing up his dad was very authorian, telling his son this is the way things will be done, and if they're not then there will be reinforcement(with the belt mind you.) Growing up Petey was a rebel and would go out of his way to break the rules .Once Petey entered high school his dad took a dramatic turn and started to give his son an accessible amount of independence. Petey soon realized he didn’t want to damage his newly given trust so he began making wiser choices and started doing right.
i know someone who has permissive parents. everytime they tell him to do something he just says do i really have to do it. and they say "well i guess your right. i can do it later"
i wish my mom was like that.
I have a friend lili whose parents are the most uninvolved parents i know. They arent usually home but when they arent all the do is cause problems so they decided to give up whenver she is doin wrong they give into her. She gets to do what she wants when she wants how she wants all the time and her sister is the same way. now she is trying to get out of the house and her parents dotn care they let her leave and they might even pay for things she needs even when she aint at home no more.
ok so my girlfriends parents are somewhat permisive. She gets away with almost everything and he parents dont really mind. Since i have known her she has gotten into trouble one time for like 3 days she got her phone taken up but she was still allowed to have it when she went to school or to work. Which i must say takes up about 70 percent of her time. But all in all she doesnt do very bad things. It must be since she is the baby of her family she gets away with most things... hmmm....
I have a friend named Jessica who lives in Frisco, Texas and has uninvolved parents. A few years ago she lived with her parents and went to Frisco High. Last year, when she was a senior in highschool, her parents moved to Colorado and she stayed here in Frisco and lived with a family in her church. Her parents did not leave her a car nor do they give her money, so she had to get a job. She had to take a semester off of school to save money to buy a car. She constantly has to ask people for rides and doesn't really get to enjoy her adolescence because she doesn't have time to spend with her friends. Her parents don't support her in any way and don't even really call her to ask how she is doing.
I have a friend, Bill whose parents are separated and having opposite parenting styles that are obvious in his behavior. Bill resides with his mother who is more laid back and lets Bill do whatever he wishes. Bill's dad on the other hand, is more strict and controlling but is mainly not around to discipline. Thus, leaving Bill to do whatever he wishes with no authority to guide him. Bill's personality and life style is evident knowing his different parenting styles.
There was a friend of mine named MIKE, and his parents i would have to consider to be overlyprotective. While it began with just not being able to go out to certain places it became restricted to the kinds of music he could listen to and the people he could even talk to. In 9/11 his father died at the world trade center. His poor mother was distraught with sadness and depression. Soon he was pulled out of school, why he would not say but later i found out that his mother had pulled him out because a new boy who came to our school was muslim. Now he is homeschooled and i have not had contact with him for years, but his mother so filled with fear could not trust anyone in the world for fear of losing another loved one.
I had this friend named Clark who has parents that are uninvolved. When he was younger his parents where his best friends, they did everything together, talked everyday, and were a happy family. As the years past things happend and by highschool everything just went straight downhill. His parents fought everyday, they got caught up in work, and they pretty much forgot about Clark.When they did speak to Clark it would be yelling because they had a bad day at work and they needed to take it out on someone. Because of this Clark became very depressed and he felt very lonely. He grew to hate his parents and did not want to be around them anymore.
Okay so Shanadolyn is a kid, and Mirage and Jusophe are her parents. So let's continue. Her parents are really really permissive. They aren't completely "not there" but they could definitly be there more. They like to go out and have fun, but when it comes to her, they kinda uninclude her. So she is an only child, nad takes care of hersewlf. Personally, she will be a very strong person. She will learn to lend her own life. As for her parents, they will wonder what happened to their daughter...while they weren't there.
My parents are authoritative because they will kinda make you fallow the rules but they will also allow you to make deals like when it comes to curfew I can usually get a deal for another thirty minutes or i can get out of chores if I pay for a maid day
My friend Ashley’s mom is completely authoritative. When they have a disagreement, they calmly discuss it until they make a compromise. For example, several weeks ago Ashley wanted to stay out later than her curfew to watch a movie, so she discussed it with her mom, and her mom decided to let her go as long as she called after the movie.
I have a friend name Cody who's parents are very permissive. He is an only child so they pretty much give him whatever he wants within reason. He can also do things like stay out late at night without too much question about what he is doing. In some regards it has been effective though. He makes straight A's and is in the top 10% of his class. He doesn't have some of the alcohol or drug problems that a lot of teenagers these days have. He is extremely talented in music, and has won many awards for guitar, piano, and saxophone. So they are obviously doing a few things right. I guess they have found the perfect balance between being authoritative and permissive.
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